


Dream Meandering

by cmk418



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-18
Updated: 2008-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmk418/pseuds/cmk418
Summary: The enjoining spell still binds its participants on a subconscious level.
Relationships: Angel/Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles/Xander Harris, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris/Anya Jenkins
Kudos: 1





	Dream Meandering

**Author's Note:**

> To avoid confusion, Giles' dreams are in **bold** , Xander's dreams and random thoughts for both of them are in _italics_

**It starts as a dream.**

_It starts with a kiss in a dream_.

**You feel his lips moving over yours.**

_Soft, which you didn’t expect, and warm, which you did._

**It’s a practiced kiss.**

_You’ve definitely done this before – in a dream, of course – because it feels so familiar._

**Like coming home.**

_Exactly. But not to your crappy basement apartment, more like to a more welcoming spot, like Giles’ place._

**One hand tangles in his hair.**

_The other travels down your back._

**You can’t get close enough.**

_You love the way he holds you._

**You pull him in further, his body flush against yours.**

_And… BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! … Wait!_

**Xander? Oh bloody hell.**

_Snooze. Snooze is good. You close your eyes, trying to seize the traces of the dream. Nothing._

“Thankfully, my job today allowed me to put a sledgehammer repeatedly through a wall.”

“He’s been tense lately,” Anya declared. “I don’t understand it.”

“Let it go, Ahn.”

“You can come patrolling with me.”

“Somehow I need something that’ll last longer than a simple staking.”

“You could train with Buffy. Tomorrow, if you’re up to it.” Giles spoke, catching the tail end of the conversation.

Xander blinked. He hadn’t heard Giles come in, and now that he was here… _Don’t look, Xan, don’t you dare._

Xander glanced up. Giles was looking at him expectantly, a warm smile tracing those delicious lips.

_Stop it, traitor._

Xander squeaked out a response. “Training. Sure I can do that.” _Because that’s what I need. More time with Giles._

**You’re dreaming again. Tonight has placed you in a cemetery. An unfamiliar one.**

**“It’s Los Angeles. Near Hemmery.”**

**“Oh. Why do you patrol here?”**

**“Because I can. I don’t know what good this is going to do me though.” Buffy holds up a kazoo.**

**“I’m sure you’ll think of something.”**

**“What are you doing here?”**

**“I thought Xander might be with you.”**

**“He’s not. You have a Slayer. What do you need him for anyway?”**

**“We’d started something. I thought we might get back to it.”**

**“Like a research something? Cause, really, you should be using Willow for that.”**

**“Willow’s lips don’t taste like Xander’s.”**

**She screams.**

**You wake up.**

“Am I the only one in this room that’s not tense?” Xander asked.

Buffy glared at Giles.

“Okay, then. Let’s suit me up.”

Giles began fastening Xander into the padded suit. _Well, here’s me getting on board the train to Tension-town._ “Maybe I should just work without it. I mean the whole point was letting me get the frustra- aggression out. I can barely move in this thing, just stand here and get my ass kicked.”

“And you think moving is going to eliminate that?”

“I think I can hold my own,” stated Xander, removing the pads.

“Bring it.” Buffy beckoned.

“Oh, dear Lord.”

Xander advanced on her, evading one punch, then catching her around the waist and spinning with her as she kicked wildly.

She broke free from him with a head-butt and returned to her fighting stance.

“Nice move. What else ya got, tasty lips?”

“Huh?” was all Xander could get out, before Buffy sent him flying across the room.

“Oh, dear Lord,” said Giles, crouching down beside Xander.

“’S okay, Giles. She pulled it.”

“You did last longer than I expected.”

“Well, if I can’t go thirty seconds in the ring with the Slayer, then what have I learned the past five years?”

“Twenty seconds,” corrected Buffy.

“Twenty-five actually,” stated Giles. “Which was longer than I lasted my first encounter with a Slayer, so consider yourself ahead of the curve. But, Xander…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Put the padding back on.”

Giles left the room. Buffy assisted Xander back into the suit.

“What was that you said before? Something about lips?”

“Let it go, Xan.”

“’Cause I’ve been having some pretty weird dreams lately, kissing dreams, but I don’t think you’ve been in them. Maybe they’re just my dreams then. Nothing mystical, right. No weird sharing transference things like we had with _Apocalypse Now_. Just my own stuff. And that’s good. So you’ve been dreaming about me? Tell me, was I any good?”

She smacked him against the padding. “You’re terrible.”

“Terrible? Terrible how? Buffy?”

_“Buffy?”_

_She looks up at you, eyes flashing. You can see she’s busy._

_“What are you doing here?” she hisses._

_“Looking for Giles.”_

_“Does it look like he’s here?”_

_“God, I hope not. Hey! That’s not Riley.”_

_“Well, I…”_

_“You’re back with Deadboy?”_

_“Some nights I like the familiar. And who are you to judge?”_

_“What’s that supposed to mean?”_

_“You’re wandering the Dreamscape looking for Giles. Shouldn’t you be home in your cozy little bed with Anya?”_

_“Well, that’s just it. With Giles, I am…”_

_Home. The word comes to you as you awaken. Anya snores lightly next to you. You glance at the alarm clock. It’s three a.m. There’s enough time for another dream cycle, but you’re half-afraid you’ll bypass Giles and walk in on Willow and Tara – or worse, Willow and Oz, so you stay awake, staring at the ceiling not thinking about thinking about Giles. Or home. Or how Anya is neither._

The next day brought more tension at the Magic Box. Anya slammed the cash drawer closed after each transaction. “I shouldn’t be taking it out this way. Harming the money won’t bring Xander back. I don’t want Xander back. Willow, what is it like, being a lesbian?”

Tara leaned forward and whispered something in Willow’s ear. “Really?” asked Willow, surprised.

Tara nodded, then smiled over at Anya. “We could show you, if you’d like.”

“I mean, there has to be a book of some kind. Maybe a Dealing Without Penises manual.”

“Well…” Tara began. Willow shook her head.

“She’s hopeless, sweetie.”

“Hopeless? I’m not without hope. I’m a fine catch. I’m sure somewhere there’s a man out there for me.”

Giles entered the shop as Anya slammed the cash drawer again. “What’s all this?”

“Xander dumped her,” Willow supplied.

“Oh, that’s terrible. Would you like-?”

“Suggest tea and I will eviscerate you.”

“I was going to offer you the rest of the day off.”

“With pay?”

“Yes, of course.”

Anya scrambled out the door. Giles sat down at the table next to Willow and Tara.

“Did either of you know this was coming?”

“It was bound to happen one day. I’d thought it would happen fairly soon after they got together, like around last Thanksgiving,” Willow said.

“I barely knew any of you then. I thought it would be after she got her first paycheck. When was that, by the way?”

“Two months ago. You lot were betting on Xander’s misfortune?”

“Buffy had him leaving her at the altar.”

“Oh that’s simply dreadful. Although I sincerely doubt they would have reached that point.”

“See how easy it is to get caught up in all of this?”

The bell over the door rang.

“Yes, well, I’ve a shop to run.” Giles walked out to greet the customer.

“He’s worried about Xander.”

“I’m worried about Xander. Ex-vengeance demons aren’t on the top of the list of people that one should dump.”

“Maybe we’re just over-reacting.”

“Maybe.”

**You dream you’re being chased by a demon. A red-eyed creature with a tail like an alligator.**

_You dream of Anya, dressed in a wedding gown._

**You run through back alleyways, clutching a package to your chest.**

_One of her shoes is missing. You ask her if that’s important._

**You stop, bracing yourself against the wall.**

_She asks, “Do you think that’s funny?”_

**The demon moves past you infinitely slowly, sniffing the air.**

_You realize that you’re wearing her shoe. And that’s all you’re wearing_.

**You tear open the package as quietly as possible. There’s a tuxedo inside.**

_“Have you seen Giles?” you ask. “He has my heart.” Clothes, you think. Clothes._

_“Buffy has my clothes,” remarks a fully-dressed Riley. “But hers are in L.A.”_

_“Xan, you’re heartless,” says Willow._

_“Where’s Giles?”_

_“About to be killed by a demon,” states Buffy._

_You have to get outside to help Giles but the door keeps moving and the crowd keeps shifting and then your father comes up and says, “Your mother and I are going to have a baby.”_

_You scream yourself awake._

**The demon catches your scent, running toward you once again. You drop the package – why would you need it? The chase seems to go on forever, running up ladders and over rooftops, defying gravity where you couldn’t before.**

**It’s rather exhilarating if you think about it.**

**The demon has started to make a rather loud pounding noise with his feet. You’ll need to remember to catalog it for later.**

**You stop. The demon stops. The pounding continues. Oh, that’s…the door.**

Giles pulled on a robe and hurried downstairs. He hoped that one of the children wasn’t in danger. He’d given them all keys, once upon a time, but they had a tendency to forget.

He pulled the door open. “Xander.”

Giles stepped aside for Xander to come through.

“Did I save you?” Xander asked.

“Pardon?”

“From the demon. I tried to get there in time but the door kept moving and then…”

“Xander, what are you talking about?”

“I couldn’t find you, Giles. I was looking for you and I couldn’t find you and you had my… my clothes.”

“That was your tuxedo?”

“How’d you know it was a tuxedo?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You said tuxedo.”

“Why on earth would you be wearing a tuxedo in a dream?”

“I wasn’t. You had it. I was…”

 _Naked._ Giles thought, blushing. Xander was naked and he was stuck being chased across Sunnydale rooftops by a demon. Even the dream world slighted him.

“Well, since I know you’re okay. I might as well head back. Big day on the site tomorrow. Need to get a bit more shut-eye, so I don’t wind up hammering my thumb all day long.”

“Good night, Xander. Sleep well.”

“Good night, Giles.”

_You wander through a floral shop, past buckets of orange and yellow daisies, birds of paradise offered for five dollars each, and bouquets of lilies. You grab a couple of tulips and stand at the cash register. An instrumental version of the “Sunshine of Your Love” plays overhead. The door swings open and closed but no other people ever see you. You put a tube of model airplane glue on the cash register and leave._

_You wake up and think “That was weird.”_

After three consecutive nights of the same image, _that was weird_ became _this is annoying._ It had gotten so that Xander didn’t want to go to sleep. There wasn’t anything threatening in the dream florist, not at all. It was too peaceful. The only variations to each dream were which flowers he picked up and how he paid.

“Tuesday, tulips, airplane glue. Wednesday, those white spiky things, yellow crayon, last night, daffodils, headless Barbie.”

“Tonight, carnations, teddy bear,” stated Dawn. “What? I thought you were playing a word association game.”

“I’m trying to figure out… Hell, I don’t know what I’m tryng to figure out.”

“Sounds like the dreams Buffy used to have. I don’t think you’re supposed to figure them out.”

“Buffy had flower shop dreams? When?”

“The summer after we moved here. We went to visit Dad and were forced to share a room. She’d either talk about gladiolus or she’d be humming some song.”

Xander hummed out the first few bars of “Sunshine of Your Love”.

“That’s it!”

“I’m officially freaked out now. Did she know what was causing them?”

“I don’t think she cared. The weird thing was that they stopped as soon as we got back here.”

“Great. So, carnations, huh? What color?”

“Pink and white, of course.”

_That night, you pick up the carnations, but instead of a teddy bear, you lay a wooden stake on the counter._

_If anything will get you out of these dreams, that will._

“No, that’s not it. The Koltiona demon has spines on its back. Buffy reported this had spines on the head only.”

“I’ll keep checking, Giles.”

“Maybe there’s something in that book that Xander has his nose in, er… on.”

“Tara, please give the boy a nudge.”

Tara rested a hand on Xander’s back. “Xan?”

Xander mumbled. “Waiting so long. To be where I’m going. In the-“ Xander jerked awake.

“Morning, sunshine,” greeted Tara cheerfully, as she eased the book out from under Xander.

“It’s morning already?”

“She’s teasing you, Xan. It’s ten at night. So, not too unusual for someone to hit the road to dream-land.”

“All roads lead to the flower shop from hell,” said Xander, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“You’re having flower shop dreams? I miss those.”

“Wait a-“

“Tara, did I tell you about my flower shop dreams? They went on for weeks. No nightmares, nothing. Just me in a flower shop. I kinda expected nightmares though ‘cause that was right after vamp-me showed up. I have dreams about her sometimes now, but they aren’t scary. Mostly we just buy clothes.”

“Oh, is she the one responsible for that black leather number?” Tara grinned.

“Maybe.”

Xander waved a hand to get Willow’s attention. “So you haven’t had any nocturnal visits to the florist lately?”

“Not a one.”

“I was kinda hoping this was one of those _Apocalypse Now_ moments.”

“No such luck. And I was awake while you were snoozing. Buffy’s on patrol, so that rules her out.”

“Buffy. She had the dreams too. After the Master killed her. Dawn told me.”

“So the dream gets us out of nightmares. But what…?”

Xander grabbed at the most likely nightmare inducing thing in his life. “Anya. Going all vengeance demon on me. Turning me into things.”

“I’ll bet that’s it,” smiled Tara.

“And now that you’ve solved it, you can move on and return to your inappropriate erotic dreams about Spike.”

Giles walked back in to hear the last part of her comment. “Who’s having what?”

Xander rubbed a hand over his face. _Oh god, not now._ “Willow’s joking and I’m going home before this gets even more out of hand. ‘Night, Giles.”

Giles watched Xander leave then went back to the training room. He suddenly had the urge to hit something.

_You throw the flower pot at the front window. There’s a sickening crunch and potting soil scatters all over the floor._

_Maybe you still have the link, fading as it is. You’ve used it before. Just try to find it._

_You concentrate, take a couple steps. A set of double doors, that wasn’t there a moment ago, is in front of you. They seem both familiar, and out of place._

_You push through the doors and walk into the library at Sunnydale High School. You’ve done it. You feel a moment of triumph that you’ve broken through the endless loop of your subconscious. And then you realize that you’re back at Hellmouth Central._

_And Giles doesn’t seem to be around._

_Shouldn’t he be around? This is his dream, isn’t it?_

_You notice there are no computers in the library._

_Yep, it’s Giles’ dream all right, but why would he dream about an empty library?_

_You hear a sound, up in the stacks. Grabbing a sword from the weapons cage, you head toward the source of the noise. You’re as quiet as you can be when you move, so quiet that you can hear the books shift._

_Books that shift because someone’s being pressed into them. By Giles._

_You see a pair of hands moving over Giles’ back, down to cup his ass._

_“Oh God.” There’s a clattering noise as the sword hits the floor and you jerk awake._

**“Xander?” you ask, turning halfway around. “Damn.”**

**You wake up, open your eyes, and stare at the ceiling.**

“Xander, why are you here?” asked Willow, stepping out of the doorway to let him in.

Xander moved into the room.

“What time is it?” mumbled Buffy.

“Ten minutes to seven,” replied Willow, softly.

“’S there ‘mergency?”

“No,” answered Xander.

“Good. G’night, Xan.”

“She doesn’t get up before ten,” whispered Willow. “You okay?”

Xander shook his head.

Willow brushed his hair out of his eyes. “C’mere,” she took him by the hand and led him over to her bed. “Like when we were kids, remember?”

Willow laid down on the bed and pulled Xander down next to her. She drew a blanket over them both and snuggled close, facing him. “There we go. All cocooned up and safe.”

“Thanks, Will.”

“So…”

“This was a whole lot easier when we were younger, you know. Before the whole gay thing.”

“Huh?” Willow raised up on an elbow to look at him. “I thought you liked Tara.”

“I like Tara.”

“Don’t you think Tara and I belong together?”

“She makes you happy. I’m all for happy Willow.”

“But you have issues with the gay thing.”

“Not your gay thing. Giles’ gay thing. And that his gay thing is getting in the way of my gay thing and I just want to make it stop.”

Willow held up a hand, seriously throwing the cocoon out of alignment. “You… you’re… did you just come out to me?”

“Kinda. Yeah. You can help me.”

“Of course, Xan, I’ll give you all the support you-“

“Break the enjoining spell.”

“Pardon?”

“There’s still traces of the spell in each of us. Don’t you still feel connected to Buffy and Giles?”

“A little, but it doesn’t matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t. I’ve seen things, Willow, that I don’t want to see anymore. I’ve seen Buffy having sex with Deadboy. I’ve seen Giles- ow!” he remarked as a pillow banked off his head.

“That’s what you get for intruding on my dreams.”

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“You guys are not talking quietly,” Buffy hissed. “I’m with Xander. The sooner we can get rid of the remnants of this spell, the happier I’ll be. Between you and Giles-“

“Giles has been in your head?” Xander didn’t want to feel jealous, but there it was.

“Oh my gosh! You have a cr-mmmph.” Xander’s hand clamped over Willow’s mouth.

“No, I don’t. And I won’t. And I can’t. Because nothing will ever come of it, so please, Will, find us a way out of this spell.” Xander kicked the covers aside, scrambled off the bed and out the door.

“Great,” mumbled Buffy. “Now I can finally get back to sleep.”

Willow locked the door after Xander and then made her way back to bed.

As her eyes drifted shut, she heard Buffy ask, “Did Xander just say he was gay?”

Buffy and Willow cleared furniture out of the way.

“What’s all this?” Giles asked.

“We’re undoing the enjoining spell,” Willow remarked.

“We took care of that.”

“There’s still remnants. Connections between the four of you,” stated Tara.

“I’d bloody well hope so.”

“Why don’t you want to do this?”

“The way I see it, the four of us have been given an incredible gift. On some level, we’ll always know if the other three are with us.”

“Alive, you mean. Always looking on the up-side, aren’t you, Giles?”

“I think with further study we can strengthen the connections, so it acts more on a conscious level, perhaps enabling us to communicate with each other telepathically.”

“It’s okay for battle scenarios, but what about if we want to turn it off? I don’t particularly want the three of you tripping through my subconscious night after night.”

Xander entered the living room. “Are we about ready to get started?”

“Giles doesn’t want to do it.”

“What the hell?”

“Aside from the fact that what we have could be a great asset, there are bonds between us that cannot and should not be cast aside. The bond between Slayer and Watcher for example.”

“Why would that be affected?”

“It’s magic-based and the strongest link we used in the spell.”

“I vote ‘no’ then,” weighed in Buffy.

Tara noted, “Shared magic creates a very powerful link of its own. It opens up a line between people for the magic to flow freely. I have that with Willow. And the three of you have it with each other. A link like that can be used for incredible power.”

“Count me out,” said Willow, then added, “Sorry, Xan.”

Giles’ eyes narrowed at Xander. “Xander, a word.”

Xander followed Giles into the kitchen. Willow glanced worriedly after them.

Tara turned to Buffy. “I know a few blocking spells for dreams.”

“Thank the gods. Spell me, woman.”

Giles leaned against the counter and faced the young man who lingered near the doorway. “This is your doing?”

“I thought you wanted it this way. Me out of your dreams.”

Giles scoffed and muttered. “It would take more than a spell, or the removal of one, to keep you out of my dreams.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“The more I try to deny you, the more you’re there.”

“Oh.” A slow smile began to spread over Xander’s face. “So that… in the dream the other night… that was me?”

Giles nodded. “I’m so sorry, Xander.”

Xander pressed a finger against Giles’ lips. “Shh. You know what, Giles?”

Giles looked down at the floor. _Here it comes. The very gentle let-down._

Xander took a step towards Giles. “I think…”

Another step. “…that we’ve been going about this all wrong.”

Giles stared at Xander’s shoes as Xander continued to talk. “There is a way out of these dreams of ours.”

Xander’s lips tickled Giles’ ear as he whispered, “Do you want to hear it?”

Giles glanced up and was caught in Xander’s gaze. “If that’s… if that’s what you want, then…”

“The way out of these dreams…” Xander leaned in, so close that Giles could feel Xander’s breath against his lips as he whispered, “… we have to make them a reality.”

As Xander covered Giles’ lips with his own, he realized that it may have started with a kiss in a dream, but the reality was so much better.

In Giles’ arms, Xander was finally home.


End file.
